Shane Koyczan was bullied when he was a child. Children are cruel at times… without meaning to be.

To carry that pain, to ‘obey’ the perceptions of those whose world view is immature and miniscule, to shape your life with words used by those who had no idea of their power, to live out someone else’s faulty perceptions of what your limits are, IS WRONG. Countless children carry the scars of their childhood jeers in the hidden folds of their being. Most of them are unaware that they’ve internalized those words and that the words have become their blueprint for life. I cannot imagine a bigger waste.

To be limited by the words of someone who was wanton, cruel and mean, who knew what he was saying and still didn’t care, is bad enough. But to wear the shackles of the words of someone who had no idea what they were saying, nor how their words would impact you, is the saddest thing on earth.


This is my reply to myself on those days when I will wake up and ask myself, “Am I stupid?” This is for those days when I will wonder why I bother to get up at all. This is my justification for those moments of hopelessness when I will ask myself whether there is any point. This will fill those hours which will slip by unnoticed and I’ll wonder where the time went. This is my answer to a silent scream within me which will rip me apart into untidy shreds. This is the voice of my defiance, stridently brash, vulgar in its loudness telling my demons to leave me alone. This is my reminder to myself. I am more than someone’s faulty perceptions of who I am.

I am an unlimited being; words do not define me.

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8 thoughts on “Unlimited”

  1. Heartbreaking words describing an even more heartbreaking truth to be seen all around us. Sadly, many among us never fully recover from the untruths we hear about ourselves during our formative years.

    1. No we dont. And that’s the saddest thing possible. The futility of it all.

      And the horror is when you become like those who tormented you… and pass it on to other innocent bystanders.

  2. That is a profound observation and I suspect such insults and injuries are not limited to just childhood. There is a serious majority living in extended childhood both as predators and affected.

    You have summed it beautifully in that last line: “I am an unlimited being; words do not define me.

    1. Umashankar,

      As you have so wisely remarked, cruelty of this kind is not limited to childhood. In adulthood and adolescence, there is not even the excuse of ignorance. Although, I have met people who are extremely insensitive to how hurting their words are. Yet, such people are the kind who get hurt very easily themselves. It is as if their sensitivity extends only to themselves, leaving them free to ride rough shod over the emotions of others.

      And then of course, there are parents who say the most hurting things of all to their child. A case for justifiable homicide, what do you say?

      Your comment has delighted me, again. Thank you. 🙂

  3. Dagny, as a parent I have been battling with bullying as it affects my kids day in and day out. The bullies are getting worse. And you are right, we need to strengthen the self belief of the victim to help them overcome the doubts and hurts that bullying brings on. You are right; some of us still carry the wounds from childhood bullying. Yes, there are adult bullies too. There are people who say nasty things about others and then act all holy and indignant. Like you pointed out, their sensitivity only extends to themselves not to others. The only thing one needs to understand is to ignore such cretins. All they look for is attention. Ignore them and move on. They don’t matter. Sooner or later their karma will catch up with them.

    1. I loved the message in the video Rachna. Ignoring cretins doesn’t always work. When it doesn’t, you need someone to tell you something. You need a loved one to hold you close and tell you- They were wrong.

      And that could make all the difference.

      Pleasure to see you here again. Thank you. 🙂

  4. Some scathing words can leave indelible scars. I understand why the guy in the video hates pork chops. I have my own story and I can so relate to this.

    1. There is a book Brene Brown has written… her first one. Its called- And I thought it was only me…

      I think that about sums it up here. What say?

      Thanks for coming by… 🙂

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