Do you know people whose negative outlook can begin to poison your own sunny disposition in ten minutes? It takes them ten minutes to get off to a good canter, trotting their grievances out. Such people are ten minute people.
There are important things to do when you trip over such people. Listen carefully, for your life depends on your ability to follow instructions here.
Talk to them for nine minutes… or eight, to be on the safe side. Let the eighth minute be like the tolling of the death knell to you. Let it be as important as the stroke of midnight was for Cinderella. Once the eighth minute has struck, run. Fast.
For eight minutes talk to them wholeheartedly. BE with them fully. Don’t be afraid. They are not bad people.
They are good people who are perhaps going through a temporary low phase. Maybe they are good people who have innocently allowed that temporary phase to set up camp in their heads- and no rent. Maybe they are good people who have begun to enjoy the presence of the squatter in their head and have taken to going for picnics with the squatter instead of giving it a well-deserved boot in the fleshiest parts.
Yet, you need to get away from these good people. Your very survival is at stake.
You see, these excellent folk are eating food that addles their brain. They don’t know it because the poison acts slowly. Moreover, the poison colors their perception, making them adjust gradually to their own abnormality. They are so conditioned by that poison that the abnormality becomes their new normal… and on it goes. This is what they mean by raising the bar. Only, when you raise the bar on something undesirable, you actually lower the bar. If you know what I mean.
You, who have not imbibed any of their poison, can see the damage it has done to them. You cannot expose yourself to it lest you catch the bug too. This is why you must peel away- kindly but determinedly. If you stay on beyond ten minutes, you will imbibe their poison too. Then, there will be two sick people instead of one. Hopeless.
Getting away from these good people doesn’t mean you hate them. You don’t! You are fond of them, perhaps you even love them. That’s perfectly fine.
Go on loving them. Go on being fond of them. Go on being concerned for their well- being in every way possible. Help them come of the quicksand they’ve fallen into. But help them from a distance. Use a long pole or a rope. Don’t make the mistake of jumping into the quicksand yourself. That’s a VERY stupid idea, trust me.
When you are about to enter a sick room in which a patient is suffering from a highly contagious, virulent virus, it makes sense to protect yourself as well as you can. Walking in unprotected doesn’t prove your love for that person. It merely proves your stupidity.
Maybe you know people who are twenty minute people. Maybe you childhood buddy is a two hour person. Maybe you most favorite cousin is a one day person. It doesn’t matter what the negativity quotient of a person is; the principal is the same.
Get away from people before their negativity begins to suck you into a bog. Getting away from them doesn’t mean you hate them. It doesn’t mean you have lost your respect for them. I surely doesn’t mean you will avoid them always. It just means that you will survive longer.
Meet a three hour person for less than three hours and a ten minute person for less than ten minutes.
It’s as simple as that.
What an interesting philosophy – to walk away in the nick of time! Too often, we get bogged down by folks who have an aura of negativity. Well, never again!
This is my first time visiting your blog. I am surprised that I didn’t discover it sooner!
Welcome to my space Rickie. 🙂
In the nick of time? Yes. Necessary, isn’t it?
I am glad you discovered me at last. Better late than never. And I hope you will keep visiting now that you’ve found the paths that lead here. Looking forward to lots of interaction with you.
Well said. By negative, I understand you mean folk who are disgruntled and don’t see anything good coming out of any course of action.
Is it like osmosis? Negativity flowing from the more negative to the less negative guy. The difference being that the level of negativity in the more negative guy still remains at the same level as before the osmosis.
It works the other way too, doesn’t it? The more positive personality brings up the less positive around him. Like in the case of negativity, the more positive guy does not lose any of his positivity in that osmosis. Such a guy is usually a leader.
Again, sometimes it is us who bring out the ‘negative’ in the other person. And sometimes it is impossible to avoid interacting with a negative person. It is then left to us to attempt to turn him into a contributing member.
Personally, I am yet to meet someone who is negative in the context that you have written about, ie: a sort of an untouchable, with chicken pox. However, your writing does energize me to think on stuff that always stand between being happy and not being contented. Thanks for that.
It is exactly like osmosis. Trust you to hit the nail on the head and wrap it all up in a single word.
It works with positivity also. The only trouble is, negative thoughts have traversed our minds so frequently that the neural pathways they have created are robust and deeply etched. It is easier to absorb negative thoughts than to absorb positive ones. Its like lighting a candle in a dark room. You may have light, but there are still enormous pockets of darkness. To dispel all of the darkness, you will need to light many candles. Even then, there will be darkness- under furniture, behind doors. Negativity is a lot more rampant- and prevailing- than positivity is. Hence the need for protection.
I am glad you haven’t met anyone who is ‘untouchable’ kind of negative. All credit to your personal sunniness. You’d make it difficult for people to be down in the dumps. 😀
Oh I run a mile from these emotional vampires … they suck out my happiness. It is scary
Emotional vampires is a lovely term for these people Ritu! Thank you… 🙂