Identity: The things that make you, YOU!
You know already that you are a One-Of-A-Kind rarity. There never was anyone Identical to you, and there never will be. What goes into creating the uniqueness that you call your Identity and what makes it so wonderfully precious?
Your circumstances, talents and disposition are unlike that of any other person on earth. Your body and mind respond to stimuli in ways that reflect your temperament.
Even when life-circumstances and upbringing are identical in two people—as in the case of siblings—each individual adds a distinct set of talents and character-traits to the mix that constitutes the ME of them. These traits are pivotal in defining an individual’s priorities. What you want out of life, what is important to you, determines your choices. No other person can feel exactly the same as you. There can be common ground and similarities, there cannot be absolute congruence. You cannot be identical to someone else; neither in thought nor in choices.
The sum total of Who-You-Are is your Identity. The aspect of unrepeatable uniqueness is ingrained into that word.
Your Identity points out the most appropriate path when you come to a fork in the road. If you suspend the social conditioning that pulls you every which way, it will unerringly lead to the best option—sans ambiguity, doubt or confusion.
Of course, you can always let others decide for you and conform to their opinion.
Conformity is not just dull, it is damaging. It hurts you as well as others. Conformity reduces everyone to the same common denominator and holds humanity captive to the same uninspiring average. When you follow the common path that others have worn to a rut, you sentence yourself to the same rut. If that were not bad enough, there is worse!
Not only do you meld yourself to an indistinguishable edifice, but you also abandon your own special star which might have lighted up the world had you followed it. It might have lifted humanity a couple of notches higher than the mediocrity to which it has condemned itself.
In other words, your self-immolation served no purpose at all. What a terrible waste! My thrifty soul baulks at the horror of it!
You must choose which star you will steer your life by. You may choose a pale, wobbly blob as your star or you may choose the most spectacular star in the galaxy, the choice must be your own, as dictated by your Identity.
There is a reason why a particular star appeals to you powerfully. It may be too dull or too bright to other eyes. If it looks perfect to you, it probably is. How do you know that? Because once you see it, nothing else looks good enough. You have no attention, no bandwidth to spare for any other star in the galaxy. You’ve found it—or it has found you—and that is that.
There may be plenty of other, more brilliant stars out there. The one that speaks to you, however, is the one that you are meant to follow. It might not be perfect, but if its wobbly edges fit in with your own wobbly edges seamlessly, it is perfect for you.
This star fills all the hollows in you; hollows you didn’t know you had. It moves at the right pace; letting you rest when you want, hurrying you along when you want to fly. It stops by to let you smell the roses exactly when the thought pops up in your mind.
The synchronicity between your star and you is perfect. Life moves on feet as light as the wings of a butterfly. The road is clear and the sun is shining brightly!
Anyone can plot a course with a map or compass; but without a sense of who you are, you will never know if you’re already home.
~ Shannon L. Alder
Giving a free hand to your Identity is not easy. It is easier to be directed by someone else, to let them choose for you. More often than not, you aren’t too clear about your priorities in the first place. In the second, letting yourself choose is fraught with danger. What if you made a mistake?
But what if they make a mistake and chose something for you that you absolutely hate? After walking on the path for years, what if you discovered that your star and you are constantly at cross-purposes and you barely speak? How would that feel?
You’d forgive them the wrong choice they made for you. You would? Well then, if you can forgive someone else for the many years of misery they made you endure, why can you not forgive yourself? Why not take a chance on your own wisdom? You ask—What if I am wrong?
A better question is—What if I an right?